HOW TO TURN FEAR INTO CHAMPAGNE

"I don't know what to do"

How many times have you said that, either to yourself or out loud? I, myself, have said it probably four times this morning. Feeling stuck, suffocating in the fear of not knowing if anything is going to work out. Not knowing if you’ll ever succeed. Not knowing if, maybe, just maybe, you are going to be one of those people truly destined for failure.

A woman contemplating something

Even writing this now, I’m not sure if I will succeed or fail at creating something that resonates, something that leaves an impact on you, the reader.

But that, right there, might be my first folly. Making it about myself, focusing on how I am going to resonate, how I am going to impact. Rather than just taking myself out of the picture altogether.

a man screaming with a white background

Perhaps if I purely focus on you, on what you need to read, on what you may take away from these rambling words, perhaps then I will succeed.

In all of the self-help and spiritual books I’ve read they tell you:

"Do not focus on yourself, make whatever you're doing about serving people. If you do that, you will succeed."

Will I?

Isn’t that making it about myself again? If the end goal is self-centered, doesn’t that mean I’m just faking my way to that goal? Pretending not to be a selfish little shit, rubbing my mitts together and licking my chops while I wait for my end result to arrive?

What if there is another way?

It’s inevitable, anything you do, you will be a part of. You are the one creating it, after all. However, the first question you may need to ask yourself is:

Are you creating it for personal gain, or are you genuinely creating something for someone else?

If it’s the prior, good for you. No shame. You should enjoy the shit out of what you create, because you created it for yourself. If it’s the latter, good for you, that’s fantastic and you should also enjoy it! Either way, you are creating something, and maybe rather than dwelling on the lingering fears of whether that something is succeeding or not, maybe you should just let go.

What if you just stopped worrying and started celebrating?

a woman riding a bike down a street with a bottle of champagne

Whether you’re creating something for personal gain or creating something to change people’s lives, maybe the thing you should be doing, rather than balling you’re fists up and screaming, crying, or floating away on a doubt cloud, is celebrate!

Celebrate the now!

Who knows what the future will bring, who knows who will resonate with what you create, who knows if you’ll ever be famous or change the world. You don’t know. I don’t know. AND THAT IS OKAY!

It’s okay not to know what is going to happen. It’s okay to create something and not know if it will work out. It also okay not to know what to do.

What is not okay, is diminishing the fact that you tried. Ignoring your creations because they didn’t immediately deliver the outcome you expected. Hating yourself for trying, or allowing fear, doubt or self-perceived humiliation to swallow you whole. Grieve if you need to, that’s fair, but if you’re spending all your time wallowing and none of your time celebrating the small wins, that isn’t fair.

At the end of the day you should at least celebrate the fact that you started, that you tried or are trying. You deserve that. Now! You have earned that pride, whether that little voice in the back of your head agrees with you or not. You owe it to yourself to celebrate.

A blonde woman staring off into space with a smile

Who are you to say that you haven’t resonated with anyone? Who are you to say you don’t have fans in your corner, rooting for you or truly feeling empowered or positively impacted by what you’ve created? Take a step back and look. Really look. Is there an email in your inbox you glazed over, that if you went back and read it, you’d see how you positively affected someone? Is there a little heart or clapping hands at the bottom of your post from a stranger who cares? Is there someone who chose, by their own volition, to follow along with you?

You can spend a lifetime striving for something and never achieving that exact goal, you can also spend five years reaching for something, and that thing you want changes, so you pivot. And you can work hard and reach your goal but not even notice you’ve arrived because you never took the time to celebrate your little successes along the way.

Someone holding a flute of champagne in front of a road in the fall

None of us know what the future holds, and thank God (or whatever you fancy) for that.

 

Why waste your journey with your head in the sand, fretting about the future when you could spend a little bit of time each day celebrating the now?

So, next time you find yourself saying, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ Why not CELEBRATE!


Ash DePass is the co-founder of STUNN Collective she is also an avid reader and writer of fiction.